Wednesday, January 22, 2014

The Unexpected Expectation Exception

WARNING: NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART

Last night when I decided I would go running this morning, (think about it...it works) I expected a plethora of things to come up in the moments between planning-on and having-done that would try to keep me from following through:

1) I knew I wouldn't want to wake up at the whopping six a.m. for which I had set my alarm.

That was easy to expect since that's generally how I feel on mornings of days that I know will involve doing things. But by placing my phone on the opposite side of the dresser and far enough away that I couldn't possibly stay in bed while attending to it, I avoided this crisis.

2) I expected my homework to suddenly come of incredible importance enough for me to skip the exercise and work vigorously on it in the wee hours of the morning.

I did recall today's Spanish quiz I hadn't studied for yet, but I boldly ignored the temptation. Some like to call that procrastination, but given the circumstances I'll refer to it as my fitness resolve.

3) I expected some piece of my running outfit to be "out-of-order".

Clean shorts, clean t-shirt, clean running socks, and wait...where are they?...ah. My tennis shoes. Oh, and a nice jacket for the cold bike ride down. Speaking of cold bike rides,

4) I expected the ride to the gym to be cold and miserable causing me to turn back before even exiting the apartment parking lot.

The ride was cold. I put on my gloves, tilted my head into the wind and with my determined eyebrows, pedaled into the dark morning.

5) I expected the gym to be closed.

Yes they say it opens at 6, but who knows. Today could be one of those special cleaning days where maybe the gym is open, but they're repaving the track or replacing all the light bulbs. Or maybe the basketball team had a flu outbreak during yesterday's practice and the entire building has to be sanitized. Things happen in this dangerous world of ours. But I come around the parking lot hedge and see people moving around in the weight room, pulling and lifting and fulfilling their own fitness resolves.

Yes I expected and thwarted all of these things, and my bike is just cruising toward the having-done part of my plan when suddenly my bike stops moving, and I'm hugging a metal parking sign. With my face.

In case you didn't get that last part, this was your typical "la la la I'm walking along and everything's fine--POLE" moment you see in cartoons. It really was. The light was just dark enough, and the sign just skinny enough, that while I swear I was looking straight ahead, it somehow got missed in the whole "image registering to the brain" process. Some lucky joggers got to see the crash, and asked if I was okay just as the pain shivered through every part of my body.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Thank you." I pulled my bike from the sign, and kind of unconsciously walked toward my water bottle which was faithfully rolling the rest of the way down the parking lot. Almost more than feeling pain I was feeling anger and stupidity for making such an embarrassing mistake. After twisting my black bike lock around my shining pefectly-conditioned vehicle and the gym rack, I stubbornly continued into the gym as the melting pain slowly coagulated to the right side of my neck and my left knee.

I washed up a bit in the locker room and assessed the damage:
Ick. Neck is definitely scraped and looks disgusting. Not bleeding much though.
Knee bleeding a little, but not anymore. Mostly bruised.
One thin, bloodless cut all down the side of my face, a delicate, signature slice of the kind parking sign.
And bruises. Pretty much everywhere.

I went out to talk to the man at the front desk.

"Hey, do you have any band aids, or a first aid kit or something?"
"Oh my. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, it's fine; I looked at it. Do you have any band aids?"
"No really, that looks really bad. Have you seen your neck? You should check that out."
Yes sir. I realize there's a wound on my neck. I can feel the pain radiating from that area quite efficiently.
"Yeah...I just looked at it, it's not that bad. I washed it up. Do you have band aids?"
He brought some out. "You really should look at that."
Thank you sir. I'll send my regards to your mother, tell her what a help you've been.

So Emilyn is a little injured. I thought I was doing a good thing, going early-morning exercising. I guess I should have seen the signs. Or even the one sign. Just the one sign would have been good.

Oh yeah, and at the end of it all, while bandaging my neck in the bathroom, I realized I had forgotten to put my hair up.

Moral of the story, Emilyn's knee will require some special ice and elevation care, and she'll need to stock up on band aids next grocery shopping trip because front desk gym gentlemen are only generous enough to spare two.

How I would have begun my day had life not been...life. Yeah, we're gonna blame this on life and take my negligence to use my sense of sight out of the equation. It's all part of the Experience. With a capital E. Which was kind of an accident, but it sorta fits. 

Here's just after the crash. 


This was a day or two after the crash
And here's Chelsey's rendition of the story. :)


4 comments:

  1. Oh Em! We can be face buddies...and I hope that you don't get too upset that I kind of chuckled at your cartoon expression, because I wasn't making fun of you...it was just cute. Seriously, though, vitamin E gel capsules make all the difference in healing. Let me know if we should send you a first aid kit. ;) Love you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I hope you're recovering a little - body and ego? I'm mostly worried about the "thin, bloodless cut all down the side of my face" part that you didn't mention on the phone. Do you need stitches? Liquid skin adhesive? Another Band-Aid?

    Maybe wherever you'll be going on your bike in the next...two years...will have lots of dark parking lot signs?

    Get better soon and keep us posted.

    Love you goblets!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Haha oh noooo, Emilyn!! Any chance you'd post a picture of said wounds?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks guys! I posted some pictures. I'm doing much better. My knee still hurts a bit, but I'm keeping it under wraps. I mean I'm wrapped up in it. The wrap. Er, I've got a wrap. There's a literal wrap around my knee. You get the idea.

      Delete