And then these images of baggy khaki pants, oddly-colored striped polos, and a set of tight braids sort of war-cried out of my brain, and I forgot any reason I would have re-associated myself with someone who had seen those same images in the flesh.
Point being, I've changed.
And with my mission coming up here pretty soon, I've been thinking a lot about change. Because I've seen missions change people, and ever since December when I made the decision to go, I've been looking forward to those incredible changes.
But then something weird happened. You know those minutes of grogginess when your brain slowly transitions from absent dreaming to wakeful thinking? Well I had one of those, and as I was lying there in the weird transition out of brain and into life, I thought I was in Argentina.
Not that I actually thought I was there, but I was like, I'm going to be there. Me. With this body. This brain. These pajamas. This retainer taste in my mouth. And when I am there, it's going to be just like this. Me waking up from a dream, and being tired, and getting out of bed on to my knees, trying to stay awake through my morning prayer. I'm not going to magically be this perfect, happy Sister. And neither will my companion.
And that's the point. God doesn't send perfect people on missions to convince the world of His gospel. He doesn't even send imperfect people on missions so he can make them perfect enough to teach his message. He sends regular people into regular places to meet regular people who are prepared to hear a simple message. So yes. There will be miracles. There will be life-changing experiences. And there will be some hard trials. There will be teaching and preaching, and there will be grocery shopping. There will be service, and there will be every-day conversations. And there will be Emilyn. Just me. Not Super Sister Cannon, just me.
Well, me and God. Just like it's always been. And I do know that as long as I have God with me, whether in Happy Valley Utah, or Argentina Mendoza, I can be more than Emily + n.