The drive was shorter than I expected and once I'm settled into my regular parking spot I still have six or seven minutes to spare. Before I know it I've got my phone in hand, already a scroll or two into my twitter feed.
I know I speak to social media a lot here, but it has so quickly become such a huge part of human culture that I feel we didn't ever really give ourselves time to understand it. And it's something so available and simple that I don't think we realize how dependent on it we really are.
Soap box aside though, I somehow found the frame of mind to set my phone down and look out the window. The view was simple. Some empty cars of course, and empty parking spaces. Then there was a little median spread with grass and spotted with trees and lamp posts. The two trees nearest to me were still leafless and bare, and their branches prickled up and out like cracked glass. The sky was covered with gray clouds and just a few strips of grayish-blue folded in here and there where the clouds parted.
And I just looked. And thought. And remembered.
When I was a kid I was always off playing by myself. I would sit for hours downstairs in the toy room playing, imagining, and thinking. Or in the dirt behind our house, digging, building sand animals, and thinking. Or upstairs in my room, drawing, writing, and thinking. I was always thinking.
And it didn't really matter what about, there was always something new to ponder. A book I was reading, something interesting I had heard that day, exciting events coming up, etc. And being the natural analyzer that I am, I can always break the simplest of things into the tiniest of details to consider. Trust me, it can be a curse at times.
But now I've grown so accustomed to being surrounded by the noise of technology that I can't walk down the hallway at UVU without the urge to check my phone three or four times along the way. I can't wait five minutes in the car without liking a few posts. I can't even watch a movie without taking out my phone to play a mindless game in the meantime.
And I think it's taking a toll on my brain. My need to process and analyze and think is being stifled by the bright little screen in my pocket.
So my goal, once again and always, is to keep that little screen pocketed. Find those minutes throughout the busyness of the day where I can let my mind wander. To consciously remain within the moment and calm the urge to scroll outside of it.
And I feel like those little moments will count. It's like my Pilates instructor said, "It only takes one conscious breath to come back to center. To become aware of yourself again, of your body and your core. Okay, now take a deep breath and stand on your head."
Or something like that. :)
