Friday, November 22, 2013

My Ear Buddies

The only thing worse than coming home from a long day of classes and homeworking at the library is coming home from a long day of classes and homeworking at the library and still not being done with homework. And the only thing worse than that is coming home from a long day of classes and homeworking at the library, still not being done with homework, and finding that your left headphone ear-bud isn't producing sound.

Well actually, the headphones I own don't have a right or left ear bud; there's just this ear bud and that ear bud. Regardless, the one I had randomly selected to service my right ear at that particular moment was perfectly functional, and the other was not.

I was devastated.

In horror I popped the ear buds out and tried everything I could think of to restore the buds to their former functionality. I untwisted the cord, massaged the buds, cleaned off the earwax (we've all got it people, calm down), pushed them in and out of both ears over and over, nothing.

I finally gave up, slipped both buds back into my ears to give the illusion of normality, and continued again with my homeworking, trying to ignore my misfortune.

Halfway through my Leadership assignment, I'm pretty sure I started hearing the music out of both ears, but I was too scared to test it out because if I was wrong and my earphones were still broken then I'd just be depressed all over again. I listened for a good thirty seconds trying to figure out if I'm actually hearing what I think I'm hearing, and finally decided to just ignore it. I mean if you think about it, since I couldn't tell whether or not they were working correctly, they might as well have been working for all I cared.

But that made me think. I wanted more than anything to know whether I was right or not; whether I was really hearing music or not. Why? Why are people so stubborn that they just have to prove themselves right? Why can't we just be content with being okay?

In the end, both headphones turned out to be working just fine. In fact, Elton John's "Rocket Man" is currently protruding from both buds in pristine condition. But it definitely made for an interesting personal psychoanalysis. Who would have thought? In honor of this occasion, I will write a poem.

Ear Buddies

You are limp and always slightly twisted,
and smile-like, you reach from ear to ear
embracing my face with your long skinny arms.

You fill my head with your whispers
using all of your many voices,
and even keep your words company
with harmonies and instruments.

No matter the noises, we've always been friends.
Even when you sometimes yell at me
every time I leave the volume up too high;
I guess part of the blame is mine.

Through the Beatles and Eagles,
Elton John, Regina Spektor, and Billy Joel,
Death Cab for Cutie and Imagine Dragons,
you have always been my buddies.

My dearest headphones,
may you always fill the holes in my heart.
Or my ears, as the case may be.

Whew. I think that may have just brought a tear. Hoo. I think I need a moment. Do you mind? Here, uh, please enjoy this picture while I...compose myself.  

Aren't they beautiful? Sigh. Truly. Now don't you ever scare me like that again, you two. Ya hear? 

Friday, November 8, 2013

Free T-shirt: Long Story Made Long

I work as a Ticket Agent for the SUU Ticketing Offices. Yes that's right, I am an Agent. Agent E. Or Agent Em; I can't decide which sounds better. I guess Em would get confused with M, but that's sort of the cleverness I'm going for. Then again, in the heat of the battle, I guess Agent E is the more logical option.

Anyway, as most employees in the minimum-wage work-force, (Actually I get paid $8 an hour, so take that you peons!) I deal with many different kinds of people. There are the kind and considerate people, the angry and opinionated people, and (my personal favorite) the absolutely clueless people. And then I guess there are the ambient just-people people who cause no problems and leave no impressions. ...And now I think about it, you can't forget the weird, what-just-happened people, and then there are always those trying-to-be-funny people. Mostly teenagers. 

So, put them all together, and what do you get? A people pie! ...chart. 

So this blog post wasn't really going in the direction I wanted it to. I haven't even foreshadowed the title yet.

Do not despair my friends. That time will come. Follow me through a few more paragraphs of build-up; we shall eventually reach the climax. 


During my times working in the ticket office here at SUU, I have encountered all pieces of The People Pie. Some of my favorites were:

The lady who had just been sent from the ticket office on the other side of the stadium and was "looking for a man by the name of Will Call"
The man who paid for a ticket requesting "one for the groom's side" 
The guy who asked, "Do you have change for a ten?"
The child who, after hearing his dad tell us "He's three" said, "And my dad's thirty five."
And my new favorite, the T-shirt man. 

(DUN du-NUH!)

A couple work days ago at an unimportant time, my two colleagues and I were helping out regular customer with an irregular problem and a disproportionate bad mood. One of those angry and opinionated kind. I don't know what exactly he wanted to do, or what tickets he had claimed he bought for whom at what time with what account, but Mckay was doing all he could to help the gentleman, and the gentleman was giving him nothing but rude remarks. After trying to get what he wanted from both mine and Alyssa's window, to no avail since Mckay was the only one who could help solve his problem, he and his equally angry friend finally marched off. Mckay continued searching the ticketing system to try and solve the problem, and by the time our manager Shon showed up, he had successfully found the man his tickets, and gotten him into the basketball game. We all sighed in relief and shook our heads, putting on our best smiles for the remaining customers. 

Days later, today comes, and I go once again into work. I apologize for being late (stupid hour and a half math test) and Shon hands me a card. Like, a letter card. It was an apology letter from that guy for being rude and impatient. Along with the card, this man had provided a T-shirt for each of the Agents who had been working that night. 

The T-shirt reads, "Have a great experience at SUU". 

This is the part of the story where I would analyse this experience and share my thoughts about this event. But I'm pretty worn out from all the back story and build-up (which was actually just unnecessary introduction down the tangent path away from en media res) so I'm just going to leave it at this. 

So long friends! And remember, don't do drugs!