Remember Remember the Fifth of October

Anxious (anxiousness, anxiety)

1) feeling or showing uncomfortable feelings of uncertainty <Emilyn is feeling awfully anxious right now> 

2) marked by or causing agitation or uncomfortable feelings <the worst feeling in the whole world is most definitely the feeling of anxiousness> 

3) an uneasy state of mind usually over the possibility of an anticipated misfortune or trouble <anxiety happens to be the most recurring feeling inside of Emilyn>  

Events, texts, sleep, classes, lunch, the next episode of Korra. Waiting for any one of these things gives me a very high level of anxiousness. I know that life comes with things to wait for, and I can accept that. It's just unfortunate that here in the 21st century, all of our heres and nows make the just-as-necessary theres and laters seem much farther away.  

Currently I'm feeling a little anxious about October 5th on which quite a long list of things will be happening. Firstly, General Conference will be in session. This happens to be an event I quite enjoy, as well as an event I have missed the past four years due to either the Shakespeare Festival Competition itself, or the rehearsal for the competition the Saturday before. Secondly, speaking of the Festival, the Maeser Shakespeare team will be in Cedar City on October 5th performing their monologues and duo scenes. Thirdly, I will be working long hours at the ticket office so I will get neither the experience of watching October's General Conference, nor the scenes performed by the beloved Maeser team. Needless to say, I will not able to go home that weekend to attend my brother's fiancee's bridal shower.

You can tell I'm distressed because I just used the phrase "needless to say". I really do hate that phrase. If it's needless, why did you say it? I guess that's just the world's way of saying yes, I know everyone knows it's not needed out loud, but by gosh darn someone's gotta say it because if we don't state the obvious we might start verbalizing things that actually matter, or worse, lapse into the unknown silence and once we're there, who knows where our thoughts could take us? 

Whew. Take a breather Em. Just drag yourself slowly out of your peanut butter of anxiety and get back to your homework. You've got an entire free weekend ahead of you (if you ignore those emails about the Creative Writing Conference for a little while). It's only Monday. Just get through your long Tuesday, and by the time Wednesday comes around you can start a fresh to-do list with your favorite black-ink pen and then start thinking about the upcoming weeks. 

Oh to be anxiety free. My mini poem of the day. 

Emilyn